A hot enterprise

I have a business idea. Well, not technically a business idea, more of a marketing gimmick for a business. A restaurant, even. An you read it first here on the Vortex, because "you read it first here" is another one.

Anyways, hot foods. Forget jalapeno ratings or whatever on restaurant menus. Rate the heat in a way that'll get the men to prove they're real men or die trying (well, not technically die, but close enough): with pictures.

Like, the bland tastelessness that is a big chain hamburger won't get 0 jalapenos, it'll get "Mother Goose": not hot at all. A little spicier gets "Hillary Clinton": anyone should be able to handle that. Next would be "Britney Spears": Some people actually call that hot, but it's really pretty tasteless.

Admittedly, I haven't quite made up my mind yet as to who to use for "spicy", "hot", "real hot", and "too hot to handle", but I think it's pretty obvious why I think it'd be a good concept to draw in liberal yuppies (as customers) as well as the local Chrsitian right (when they can't find anything better to get all riled up about).