Losing it

No, I'm not talking about that photo story with renowned bondage porn star Ashley Renee. (Yes, I am a living repository of useless knowledge. I know, I should've started contributing my wisdom to the internet years ago.)

Porn reminds me, did I mention the Playboy Store has not yet commented on whether it does control the governments in the UK, Germany and Italy as I was forced to suspect about two blog entries earlier? (All hail King Torg!)

Anyway, I wasn't talking about losing the thread, either, so where was I? Oh, yeah, I hadn't even really started before somehow drifting off into the only topic that matter on the internet. (What's the current statistics of what portion of it is useless, porn or useless porn? I bet Big Brother Google knows. Yeah, silly to be using Blogger, isn't it?)

Right, as I was looking to say, I think I'm losing it. More so than usual, that is. I was getting of one tram, and saw another rounding a corner. When I had gotten off the first tram, the second tram was standing in the nearest station. I swear, it must've had about ten seconds to get from where it was when I started that step before I completed that selfsame step. Which means I must've been quite literally out of touch with reality for those ten seconds.

I suspect that I finally suffered one of those fabled alien abductions, but the after-effects of my diarreah were rather too apparent when they decided to get on with the anal probing. So they wound up doing nothing more than a preliminary ten second anal probe and then dumped me right back where they had gotten me from.

Here’s a useless piece of trivia: This will be the very first Google Search result for the exact phrase “ten second anal probe”. How do I know? Well, I checked whether this has happened to anyone else before. (They should've gotten Ms Renee instead... there'd have been money in that, I guarantee you. The Porn Is Out There, and all that.)

Obviously, it hasn’t. I may be losing it, but I had the first ever ten second anal probe.